I remember a story told about my maternal grandfather when he and some other men were standing around talking when someone looked around and said, “There are no women present …” and decided that was the “all clear” to tell an off colored joke. As the story was told to me, my grandfather stopped him and said, “There may not be any women around, but there are gentlemen present.”
That story has always impressed upon me the need to be a gentleman at all times. To this day, I will do my best to hold a door open for anyone and to especially open the doors (including car door) for my wife.
Last week our daughter-in-law was at McD’s with her children (twins are 10-1/2 months and Jackson is 27 months), struggling to get them all out of the restaurant (loosest definition of that word to apply to McDonald’s) … carrying each of the twins in a car seat / carrier and trying to herd Jackson out with her. She said several men, all dressed in suits, went out ahead of her as well as several coming into the restaurant and NOT ONE OF THEM HELPED BY HOLDING OPEN THE DOOR!
Not only did they ignore her need, Heather’s friend also is a mother of twins and she, too, was having to manage on her own because not one of these men seemed to bother to notice.
I know there are many gentlemen out there … I know there weren’t any at that McDonald’s on that day last week.
Allowing for the absence of gentlemen, what is happening to just common courtesy in our culture?
Love this post, because I agree 100%. My parents raised me to say, “Yes, Sir” and “No Ma’am” to people who are older than I am. I still do it today.
I started about 6 months ago trying to get into the habit of opening the car door for Lea and closing it too. It kind of surprised her. I’m still trying. It’s a habit I’m trying to learn, so I remember it about 70% of the time now. Which is higher than it was a month or so ago.
Pitiful. Just pitiful.
That is why it thrills me so much that my g’kids say “thank you” when someone holds the door open for them. It is a dying art.
I’d like to think that good manners, helping someone out especially mothers with multiple kiddos, will spur others on to do the same. If it is a dying art as Donna suggested, then I’m going to do down fighting or that is, “May I please go down fighting?”
Unfortunately not very many parents instill these habits into their children. As the mother of two sons, I made it my goal to teach them. While they are human and prone to lapses, I have to say it’s a habit (along with please/thank you and yes sir/no ma’am) that is ingrained in them.
I have probably done my part to discourage gentlemanly behavior and I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy trying to prove that I don’t need your help and I can do it myself, I’ve done more damage than good. I try to accept help now even if I don’t need it because I don’t want to deprive anyone of the blessing of giving.
I agree with you and hooray for you that being a gentleman is important to you.
Larry is definitely a gentleman and I appreciate it tremendously. He does many things to make me feel very special.
He shared a story with me which took place several years ago when women’s lib was beginning. He was at work on the college campus and he held the door open for a woman. She stopped dead in her tracks and defiantly told him she “didn’t need anyone to open the door for her” and she refused to walk through. In my opinion not only did she disrespect my husband she made herself look like a fool.
It’s true manners are a lost art. Whenever Matthew tries to help someone in need, people try to pay him for his simple acts of kindness. Matthew politely refuses of course,but the people become offended and shove the moey in his hand. Case in point was when a elderly gentleman in his 80′s fell into the street and was injured. Not one car stopped, but Matthew called the paramedics and remained with the man until they arrived. Then about 1/2 hour later, he went to the hospital to sit with the man til his family arrived. When the family member arrived, they attempted to pay Matthew $20.00.Matthew refused politely,but they wouldn’t take No, thank you for an answer. After Matthew returned home, he asked me “Why can’t people just accept the fact that all I wish to do is what is right.?”" Why must they insist on paying me?… I only want to help and not be paid.” Good questions. I only wish I had good answers.