To what degree I am back, I thought I’d at least come back with something amusing … an illustration from Preaching.com
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: They were to have their parents tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road; all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.” ”And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher. ”Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!” ”Very good,” said the teacher.
“Now, Lucy?”
“Our family farms, too; but we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time; but when they hatched, we only got 10 live chicks. The moral of this story is don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”
“That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, Ma’am. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break, then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. ”She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke, then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands.
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”
“Don’t mess with Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking!”
Thanks! I needed that! May we have more Aunt Karens in the world.
Perfect start to my morning here, Greg!!
Y’all won’t believe this, but we are supposed to get snow here tonight in Picayune, Mississippi and all the way down to New Orleans!! Massive snows are coming across the upper south and up from the gulf. It’s already snowing in Dallas and straight across I-20 through north Louisiana, across to Jackson, Miss. (with more north of there, a lot – up to 8″ between there and here), and on across the south.
We can’t handle snow here. The first flake freaks everyone out – totally.
What fun. Thanks Al Gore. For nothing.
I’ve checked everyday this past week to see if “Greg was back.” Don’t know if you are officially back or not, but I laughed out loud at this today. Maybe it was because I didn’t see it coming
I needed a laugh, too, and I’m glad it came from the Greg corner. I like Aunt Karen!
Indeed, don’t mess with Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking!
Greg, its great to have you blogging again! I look forward to reading your funny stories!
Welcome back Kotter, um…I mean Greg!
So glad you are back!!
Welcome back.
One of my favorites!
Peace.