I had a scathing blog to post today about how smokers are pigs, from this past Saturday when I spent time picking up cigarette butts around the outside of our building, but decided to delete that and share something encouraging. For the record, I was encouraged by the scathing rebuke of smokers … but that’s just one man’s totally objective opinion.
Dr. John Ortberg writes about the “J-curve” in his excellent book, The Me I Want to Be. Basically, the idea is that when we change how we do something, we often initially do worse before doing better. When graphed, it looks sort of like a J. Actually, it looks more like the Nike swoosh.
He gives the example of hitting a tennis backhand the wrong way and then learning the correct grip, form, and footwork. At first, you will hit your backhand even worse than when you were hitting it the wrong way. But with practice, you will eventually hit your backhand far better than before. You have to accept that at first it will be worse.
Peter is a good example. He had a tendency to step right up and show the other disciples just what an impressive faith looks like, only to always look worse than his fellow-disciples. He musters up enough faith to step out of the boat in a raging storm, but then sinks. He tries to defend Jesus by cutting off a man’s ear. He promised loyalty and produced profanity. When he gave Jesus advice, Jesus called him Satan’s advocate.
But eventually he got it right and became a pillar in the church.
From Ortberg:
Notice that this did not surprise or discourage Jesus. In fact, Jesus was so patient with his disciples we might think of the J-curve as the Jesus-curve. He will never stop helping a follower of his who is sincerely seeking to grow.
Jesus will always lead us toward growth, and growth always requires risk, and risk always means failure. So Jesus is always leading us into failure. But he never gives up on a student just because he or she fails….
Go ahead and stumble. Failure isn’t falling down; failure is refusing to try. We ought to celebrate failure.
We are living on the J-curve.
That’s good stuff! I’ve failed so many times but Dr. Ortberg helps me to realize failing does not equate failure. By grace, we do live on the J-curve and, hopefully, by grace we are seeing some growth and maturity in the Lord.
Okay…I am going to Amazon right now and ordering the book…
And, I have experienced the tennis thing…especially when I try to change my serve. The beginning of the change is not pretty….
I just read this to Tara and we are both going to get that book. Sometimes I feel like I stay in the bottom of that curve.
The beginning of the change is not only ugly… it’s painful.
Would like to have visited with you Sunday. There were 34 of us from Long Beach at the men’s retreat in Idylwild. I’m sure our Christian family in Long Beach were as blessed as we were. Sorry we missed you.
I purchased the book The Me I Want to Be, just haven’t started it yet. As mentioned in your post, failure isn’t falling down, it is more about giving up and Satan loves it when we fall into that trap. A recent devotional reminds me that we shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously, we have God on our side and he can equip us to do anything that is according to his will.
I guess you could call that the “J esus” curve. Are you saying that Ortberg is a smoker and he is a pig? I’ve been learning some deduction techniques at Piney and this seems to be how they do it.
Peace.
I think the only real failure is when we stop trying to live on the J curve and settle for “that’s just the way I am.”
I love Ortberg. He has the ability to make the complex understandable. In fact, when I don’t understand something Dallas Willard has said (95% of the time) I find that Ortberg has said the same thing in understandable terms. I’ll get the book, too.
Is it an oxymoron to write an encouraging blog about failure?
I’m there with Elaine in that, most of the time, I’m in the bottom of the J curve. It’s encouraging to me to know that Christ’s estimation of what my failures are aren’t the same as what I might think they are.
Good post, Greg. As always.
For those of you (aren’t we all?) who are in the low point of the J-curve (although I like the Nike version better, Greg, since I’m wearing Nikes – I can relate!) sometimes, here is hope.
I find myself at the bottom of the J-curve in more than one area at any given time. But, I have found through many years of personal, hands-on experience, that afterward, sometimes even in the middle of, the failures, if I am open and honest about them and keep STRIVING, and allow myself to share my struggles with others around me, I encourage them as much as I’m encouraged, or maybe more.
You see – it seems to me from my own life – that out of my struggles and lows, the highs ALWAYS follow in some way, even though not in the ways I might hope for or expect. And, sometimes it takes years. Then, I truly can rejoice in all that I went through at the time and share those, once again, with others to give them even greater hope.
I am in the middle of a terrible situation right now in my own family in which I feel completely helpless on my own to cause any good change to come about. I very much feel in that very low place, although I pray and ask God’s guidance continually. I am not sure that the victory I seek will ever come, or at least in my own lifetime.
Yet, I do not give up praying and seeking wisdom to be good and gracious and generous without fault, to that one who so scorns me – his own mother. He is my beloved child, no matter how mental illness has caused him to come to be. I pray only good for him in all.
So, I understand trying to move forward and trying to be more God’s child, even as my own child rejects me without mercy. I am in a very low point in this, but have faith God can – and I pray WILL – move to change what seems to be irreparable.
Sorry for the long note – and frankness. This is heavy on my heart.
Dee
One of the first sermons we heard in our new church was about this. Our pastor called it “the dip”. And it is so very very true. I wish I could have heard that years ago – it maybe would have saved me clinical depression and a few other things. But this is so very true, and encouraging.
I always tell people that when God “rebukes” and corrects us, He does so with hope – hope that we will change and do better.