Last week I told my wife I did not like the person I am becoming.
She asked what I meant and I told her too often I was just a crotchety, 57-year-old, old man. I seem to lose my patience (what little I have) with people I love. I snap back. I hear things the wrong way. I’m critical. Irritable.
Jump in and stop me at any moment, please!
Honestly, I was hoping she would say, “No, I don’t think you are a crotchety old man,” but she didn’t. Some people love enough to be truthful … even if it hurts. That she didn’t take issue with me more than validated my comment.
Mind you, I’m not that way all the time … but far more than I would prefer.
Dave (our preacher) started a new sermon series this past Sunday at Chorus Church … Jesus in 3D. Not just knowing about Jesus, but knowing Jesus. Experiencing him in 3D. The timing for this series is perfect. And Dave is the perfect man to be teaching me right now. I have come to have great love and respect for Dave and his family.
When we moved to Long Beach in 1993, it was a very rather dysfunctional church and I was a perfect fit, showing up with all my emotional baggage. In time, I decided to preach through Luke as if we’d never read the stories and had no idea how the stories ended. I wanted to be surprised by Jesus’ teachings. I wanted to be in awe of every aspect of who Jesus is. I wanted a new heart.
Jan and I were recently visiting with one of the shepherds from Long Beach, recalling those first few years (and the years leading up to 1993) and it was absolutely amazing just how messed up we were and yet more amazing how God continued to honor that wonderful group of people, just as he does all those dysfunctional churches we read about in the New Testament!
I didn’t really plan the sermons … just sort of waded into Luke, deciding I would take as long as it took.
I preached through Luke in just 2-1/2 years! And at the encouragement of Terry Rush, I did something I’d never done before. I didn’t come with a prepared sermon.
I studied. I tried to be very familiar with the text, but I wanted God to speak through me … to put into my heart the things He wanted our church family to hear. Most weeks, while I was showering on Saturday evening or Sunday morning, thoughts would just flood my mind and those thoughts became the sermons.
It was scary, to be sure. There were a few Sundays when I had no idea what I was going to say that morning. Once or twice, I actually walked to the stage not knowing what I was going to say. But in ways I simply cannot explain, entire messages came to me and I shared them with the church.
And in that 30-month span, we saw the spirit of that congregation completely change. And, for the most part, and as far as I could tell, it was a permanent change … for the better.
There was more grace extended. Less criticism. More loving acceptance of things outside our comfort zones. People who didn’t care much for me became my friends. Or at least became friendlier. Some of our defensive walls came down. Hearts were opened. Lives were made sweeter.
That’s what I need right now. A fresh view of Jesus. In 3D. I need to stop talking about religious and Holy Spirit “stuff” and allow the Spirit to live in and through me again.
Hopefully 57 is not too old to start living. Again.
This reminds me of Ezekiel’s vision in Ezekiel 37-“The Valley of Dry Bones”
The hand of the Lord was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”
I said, “O Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’” Ezek 37:1-6
When I allow too many things to grab my time and attention I feel my bones becoming dry and I don’t like it. I have to redirect my attention and my desires back to God. I am always amazed at the difference in my attitude and my sense of well being once I focus on God. Not on a check list, just on him, who he is….and who I am in comparison to him.
In today’s “Jesus Calling” devotional part of the last paragraph reads…”You don’t have to choose between staying close to Me and staying on course. Since ‘I am the Way’, staying close to Me is staying on course. As you focus your thoughts on Me, I will guide you carefully along today’s journey.
I’m sorry I wrote so much. I guess this all struck a chord with me. I appreciate your thoughts.
Me too. I need to walk by faith in the Spirit and fully experience Jesus. Life just seems to get in my way…..
Hi Greg,
long time, no comment from me. Janice: I loved the “Jesus Calling” quote. that struck me today as I read it, too, and I’m glad you shared it here.
I was just reading Psalm 62 and permit me to paraphrase a part of it, “Trust God at all times, Tell Him everything that’s in your heart. God is a safe place because both power and mercy belong to Him.” verse 8, 11, 12. I hope that encourages you, Greg.
I’m 54, and in the same boat.
After having struggled and fought and cried and broke down over the last 10 or so years, I’m at the end of my energy and desire to continue. Finally.
It’s a good place to be, because I’m more likely to turn things down than overload myself. I’m trying to find the quiet to be able to reconnect myself to God. And finding that nursing school is my next step, and then whatever after that.
If I were you, I’d be encouraged at realizing you need the next thing like that. That stirring and dissatisfaction is actually probably the stirring of the Holy Spirit in your life – farther up, further in!
Greg,
Funny how you posted this today. You know, I always run parallels between you and my husband….Just the other day, my dau and I were discussing that it seems like my husband has become a ‘grouchy old man’. What’s up? Do yall give it ‘all’ out to your clients? Are you just burned to a frazzle by the time you get home. I think mine needs a good vacation. To him that means hours upon hours spent in the Gulf of Mexico, ie. Panama City. Well, don’t know if that’s possible. ie oil. Where would you go?
Sorry, my reaction was not as spiritual as the other women’s. It is spiritual in a more subtle way. Gotta get the insides calmed. Get life in perspective. God always shines through. He always comes through. Guess it’s like saying it is my husband’s way of clearing the spiderwebs so that he can see.
I’m glad that you have brother Dave and his sermons Jesus in 3D. Drop all of that baggage on top of you and get back to living in the Spirit, instead of talking about it…a paraphrased quote from your next to the last paragraph. God bless you, man.
I don’t have anything to say today, Greg. You and all of the other commenters have said it all. So, I’ll just continue my fasting and prayers today by adding all of these thoughts to my own and praying for us all.
Dee
Funny that you should mention about having enough courage to just let the Word lead what you were going to preach to the folks at Long Beach. I truly think that again, we at Long Beach need to be willing to step out in faith just a little bit and let the Spirit through the Word (and each other) lead us where He wants, not necessarily where we have decided we need to go. It is not that things are bad or so very dysfunctional at church, they’re not, but I feel that we have in some ways become content to rest in what has happenend before and not truly braved the unknown in terms of the Spirit’s leading. Maybe letting the message of the Word inspire us as if we were hearing it for the very first time might be a step in the right direction.
I think that’s where we all need to be – ready to see Jesus in 3D. Bless you on your new journey. Much love.
I’m turning into a grouch with other people, and getting nicer with my family. What’s up with that?? I don’t know about 3D, but I’ve been reading Francis Chan lately (“Crazy Love”), and last week one of our ministers started teaching this book and showing videos on Wednesday nights – and I am really charged up about it. I’m realizing I’m a grouch because I have really missed the point all these years.