Last Friday I went to Los Angeles Medical Examiner’s office to pick up a case. Thinking they release the same hours (Noon ~ 5:00pm) as all the other coroner offices around us (at least four different counties), I got there about 1:30. For the record, in the past, LA released from 12:00 ~ 5:00pm. And for the record, what they did in the past is meaningless to the present.
The Los Angeles Medical Examiner releases from 4:00 ~ 10:00p.m. I have not only a 2-1/2 hour wait, that also puts me in the 5:00pm traffic on the I-10 out of LA … never a good thing. Worse when I have a 90-mile trip back home.
I asked if they would make any allowance for the fact that I (1) was not aware of their release hours and (2) had driven almost 100 miles. They didn’t even give an answer … just a grin. Back in the south, we would call it a certain type of grin, but I’m trying to work on my language and thoughts.
There was a Sparkletts delivery guy in a truck beside the van and a coroner’s van in the garage. I barely had room to maneuver between the two to back up and get turned around so I could go find something to do for 2-1/2 hours.
As I carefully backed up, a coroner’s deputy was guiding me. When I pulled out, trying to dodge the water delivery truck, my bumper rubbed against the bumper of the coroner’s van. Or so I thought.
I got out and looked … didn’t see any visible damage to my van or the coroner’s van. The deputy looked and didn’t see anything, so I left, drove across the street to McDonald’s, backed into a parking place and started killing time.
Just after 3, I was sitting in a corner booth, sipping on a Diet Coke with a “splash” of Dr. Pepper (the Dr. Pepper makes the Diet Coke tolerable), playing solitaire on my iPhone when I looked up and saw a very large LA County Sheriff’s Deputy looking me over. And he wasn’t smiling.
“Is that your black van out there?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Would you mind coming with me?”
As if that were an option.
As we walked toward the van (there is a second deputy in a second car, blocking the van in) I asked, “So is it illegal to back into these parking spaces?” He replied, “No, but it is illegal to leave the scene of an accident and we have you on video tape hitting another vehicle.”
Turns out, the supervisor at the coroner’s office was just a bit upset that I’d hit her van and left without saying a word. End result (after an hour of investigation), she decided it was all an innocent mistake and did not press charges against me, which would have resulted in a citation, a court hearing, a fine, and 2 points against my driver’s license. I have never had points against my driver’s license, and only two tickets in my life.
As I was finally leaving with my case, I was blocked from taking the gurney to my van by numerous other mortuary vehicles. One deputy coroner who had seen the earlier incident said, “I think you can get him between those two vans … but you probably don’t want to hit another van today, do you?”
Those guys are comic geniuses!
sounds like ya had a fun day! :O)
[It was anything BUT a fun day.]
I’m tellin’ ya, Greg, Big Brother is HERE, brother. Can’t escape the watchful eyes of the cameras everywhere! Chilling, isn’t it. And YOU tried to run from the law. Ummmh, ummh, ummh . . .
Too bad those deputy dudes couldn’t have been out trying to solve some REAL crimes or stopping some dangerous criminals or fast drivers. But no – they have to check out McDonald’s to pick on poor ol’ you. Bummer.
That really sucks. But, at least you won your way out of the matter.
So . . . did you try to get the gurney in between even more vans or not? If so, did you make it?! ha!
CHEERS!! (I capitalized it today because it’s Monday and I need it, so figured all of the rest of you do, too.) Dee
[I couldn't help but wonder while this "crime" was being investigated (two officers for over an hour), just how much money was spent to pay their salaries and keep their squad cars running w/ the A/C on and what other real crimes they might be investigating. I decided not to bring that question up with either of the officers.]
You might make an episode of CHIPS…
BTW, I know that grin….but then you knew I would.
[Any true southerner knows that grin. We just don't use the phrase at church!]
I would like to know if the lady coroner was present when you “hit” her car or if she just saw that on the playback. If she wasn’t there and there was no visible damage to either vehicle, and apparently the deputy didn’t see any either, then how did she know to look at the surveillance tape? Or is it just her practice to daily examine these tapes to catch unsuspecting funeral directors in a misdemeanor. Either way, you’re a pretty poor criminal when you think of it. If you had really meant to “get away” with something, it probably wasn’t the best decision to have a deputy there when you committed the crime and then hang around McDonalds waiting for another deputy to show up.
[Poor criminal?? Give me a break! I'm new at this crime business.
]
Reads like the beginning of a good detective story. Were there ceiling fans in McDonalds and were you wearing a wide brimmed hat? Were you smoking a cigar?
At least you didn’t have your ‘case’ loaded already; they may have tried to charge you with homicide.
Seriously, were those guys for real??
Perhaps you need to start taking Psycho puppy along as your guard dog.
I’m sorry you had such a miserable day!
[As Trey noted below, the worst of days makes for the best of blogs. I know blogging is slowly dying, but I look for a blog in every situation of life. Maybe I need to GET a life?]
Sometimes bad days like that make the best blogging material. Got to find some light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
[You are right. THE redeeming factor in every bad situation is the possibility of a good blog!]
Blogging is dying?? What?? I just got started good…
We can blame Twitter for this. Some of my better friends (and favorite bloggers) have dropped out. Those remaining seem to blog less and less and comment less frequently, myself included. But don’t give up … I enjoy your blog!! You write and I’ll read / comment. Deal?
Any connection that the first place they thought to look for you was at McDonald’s?
[None that I know of. Just the closest place to spend three hours.]
This is SO a reality show in the making…
[I'm ready to make me some serious money on reality television!]